October/November 1999:
A Tale of Two Vans Pt. 2 (cont.)

November 20 Lake City Fla
We couldn't find a hotel in Gainesville so we had to drive about an hour or so to this little town. The reason for the lack of accommodations is the annual Florida vs. Florida State football game taking place this very afternoon. As the non-drinking guy in the entourage (Andy too, but he's in the other van), it was my responsibility to ferry the band back to the hotel after the show.

Oh, what sights we saw! Drunken college students had literally taken over the town. We witnessed one young man humping a wooden fence while his friends egged him on. We were screamed at by a yard full of fratish meatheads and their soon-to-be-violated young female companions -but I did not yell back at them. No, I learned my lesson years ago in Athens, GA when I was driving the van to the hotel from the 40 Watt under very similar circumstances. A minivan containing 4 normal-looking college girls and 3 jockish dudes pulled up next to us at a light. Two of the girls pulled up their sweatshirts and flashed their bras in my direction. I noticed the guys in the back of the minivan were laughing at me so I rolled down the window and got them to do the same. I told them I wanted to see their stuff.

Sure enough, at the very next light the minivan's side door swings open and we are mooned by two of the van's male passengers. The boys then proceed to pull their pants back up and high-five each other while laughing uncontrollably. I rolled the window back down, pointed right at them and deadpanned, "You...are gay." The laughing stopped immediately, the faces dropped and the next thing I heard was, "Get 'em!" I remember hitting the gas, taking the next right I saw and somehow getting to the hotel through a series of alleyways. We got away unscathed that time. Then there was the time I was beaten soundly by several members of the Iowa State pep squad after I called them a bunch of Nancy boys. Don't feel that up for telling that story right now.

Gainesville always rox, and rok it did last night. We spent most of the soundcheck working out Bruce Springsteen's mini-epic "Born To Run." Neil (T.O.D.) suggested we end the tour with this number a few weeks ago and we finally got most of it figured out yesterday. But one key ingredient was missing from the song: Clarence Clemmons' stunning sax solo. Turns out Bill Bryson, the owner of the Covered Dish, just happened to have a saxophone in the club(!)and guess which member of our entourage just happened to play the instrument @ Appalachian State? That's right, The one and only Eric Bachmann. Last night he truly was the Big Man.

A young lady joined us onstage during "Driveway To Driveway" and danced around for a good 3/4 of the song. This was probably only the third time a woman has gotten up there with us -and I must say I am usually way more impressed with their dance moves and their courteousness than that of their male counterparts. Guys usually barrel onto the stage sweaty, shirtless and drunk. They can't dance, they almost always knock into one of us and then they stay up there too long. When Dewitt used to work for Sugar, he was responsible for not only guitar maintenance, but also making sure stage divers adhered to the rules Bob had laid down at the beginning of the band's career: only three seconds onstage; no singing along; and most importantly, no interpretive dance. Sounds fair to me. Our dancer last night remained in one spot, kept her shirt on and shook it like it needed to be shaken.

We encored with a couple of originals and "Harnessed." It's always a blast to watch the crowd go nuts when the song kicks in. Jason from Trail of Dead joined us on back ups and seemed to spend more time in the crowd than onstage. After some tuning and plugging in (Neil joined us on acoustic guitar)we went into "Born To Run." As a special surprise to us, Andy instructed the house sound woman to turn the house lights up at the end of the drum roll intro. Anyone who has ever seen the Boss live has witnessed this encore set tradition. I almost fell off my seat laughing. We were a little concerned that people wouldn't know the song, but we were happy to see people not only rocking out but singing along word for word. A great night. One more to go.

November 23 Chapel Hill
I'm home. It's good to be home.

Our last show of the North American leg will not soon be forgotten. I was completely surprised by the arrival of a good-sized Chapel Hill contingent right before soundcheck. Great to see everyone a day earlier than expected. Dinner was at a tapas joint around the corner and we returned from the restaurant just in time to see Trail Of Dead start their set. I don't know if it was the club's P.A., the sound man or what, but this was in my opinion their best sounding performance of the tour. It was awesome to watch them destroy their gear one last time. I can still see the carnage: Jason's drums scattered about the stage as he sings "Minor Threat" to several blank faces; Conrad sprawled on the floor making with the guitar histrionics; Kevin and Neil both rocking their amps back and forth in time. Showmanship is not dead. I will truly miss you guys.

What can you say about Eric Bachmann that hasn't already been said? E.B. is one of the funniest and most talented people I know (and he hates as many things as I do!), and it was an honor to have him on this tour and share the stage with him. I was a little misty-eyed playing the three songs one last time. Maybe someday I'll get the chance again.

It's just minutes before showtime and I'm being laughed at hysterically by R*o*c*k* A T*e*e*n* frontman Chris Lopez. He says the shimmery vintage Ban-Lon shirt I'm wearing looks ridiculous and I should not wear it onstage. A quick poll is taken and the nays have it. The sleeves were too long anyway. I opt for a black Ban-Lon instead. We play the set and everything goes well. Even the problematic "Sick To Move" comes off without a hitch. Backstage, before the encore set, Lopez approaches me and whispers, "Seriously, they would have laughed you out of the building if you'd worn that shirt."

We did an encore set similar to Friday night's - substituting "Hyper Enough" for "Precision Auto". "Harnessed" caused many to lose their shit. I only wish Matt Gentling (Archers bassist/mountain climbing enthusiast who came down for the show)had gotten up onstage with us. Matt is not the kind of guy to just jump up onstage -we should have worked it out with him beforehand. We broke out "Born To Run" again and the crowd went even more berserk than they did in Gainesville! Shawn Rogers (Archers manager/soon to be Sub Pop dude)hit the house lights at the appropriate time (a struggle with a confused club crew member for control of the lights ensued)and I was amazed to see just about everyone in the club singing along. Even Dewitt Burton, a man I had never pegged to be a Boss fan ( I don't know why I assumed this -could be his affinity for both Montrose and UFO- I know he'll get me back for this!)was right there word for word. We even got the weird breakdown part right. Anybody out there happen to get this on video? There's a couple bucks in it for you.

We assumed this was the end of the show. I mean, how can you possibly follow something like that? We were surprised people still wanted to hear more. After many minutes, we returned to the stage and finished up with "Slack." Goodnight. While I was changing I noticed there was some kind of performance taking place on the stage. Turns out Jason (Trail of Dead) is up there trying to get people to rap over his human beatbox rhythms. I didn't get to see this but I hear he did a fine job of clearing the house.

Everybody was way too exhausted by this point to get too deep into the aftershow party scene, so we headed for the hotel where we met L7 coming in from the final show of their U.S. tour.

Ok. I want to wrap this up by offering my sincerest thanks to everyone involved in the Come Pick Me Up tour: Jason Ward, Matt Gentling, Andy Mc Millan, Jamie Newnam, Eric Bachmann, Neil-Jason-Conrad-Kevin from the Trail Of Dead, Bob Lawton, Jim Romeo, Heidi and Dawn(a)@ Girly Action, Martin-Trish-Spott-Charlotte @ Merge and anyone else I'm forgetting. Thanks also to all who came out to see us (an extra shout out to Lucinda, Dean, Kenny and Stacey), we appreciate it immensely.

Thanks for listening,

Jon